


My Emotional Support Clown

by girl_next_door_writes



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:16:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22655824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl_next_door_writes/pseuds/girl_next_door_writes
Summary: An arrangement which starts out as a joke turns into something more important, but can you ever confess your true feelings to your Emotional Support Clown?
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	My Emotional Support Clown

The sound of children’s laughter and excited screaming filled the air as you navigated your way down the hallway of your brothers place, clutching the oversized box, wrapped beautifully in spotted paper and tied with a bow. The whole house seemed to be in a state of chaos. Grown ups hanging out (or more likely hiding) in the kitchen where the wine was definitely flowing, small children dashing about, some god-awful kids song playing from somewhere and you had to remind yourself that this was all for your beautiful nephew who you loved, and to bail now would be really bad. 

As you searched for your brother, sister-in-law or the birthday boy, you wandered into the lounge and stopped in your tracks, a smile pulling at the corners of your lips. Wow, they really had gone all out for a five-year-olds party. Standing in the middle of the room was a clown, trying his best to entertain the rabble. His dance moves reminded you of a mixture of Charlie Chaplin and Fred Astaire, smooth and calculated, beautiful. Despite the painted on grin, you could see there was a genuine smile and that this guy really did love his job. 

A balloon burst, causing you to jump, and one kid to spontaneously dissolve into tears. The clown immediately dropped down onto one knee and began making faces at the small child to get him to smile and your heart kinda melted a little. It was his job, but it was so sweet. The moment was broken, however, as your brother barged into the room and stood over the entertainer, tension throughout his body. “I knew I should’ve told you to get lost the minute you arrived.” He growled, causing you to frown and move closer. It was clear your darling brother had been drinking but he wasn’t usually so aggressive.

“I- I…” The clown stuttered, getting to his feet and nearly tripping over his own shoes. 

“Lay off him.” You shoved your gift into your brothers arm and looked at him pointedly.

“Oh, come on. Clowns are weird and this one’s just creepy. He’s making the kids cry, look.” Your brother gestured to a couple of kids who were now coming out in sympathy for the boy who had been startled by the balloon. Turning back to the colourful guy in the green wig, he glared. “Don’t expect to be getting paid for this. In fact, you should count yourself lucky you’re not getting sued for emotional distress.”

The clown scrambled to retrieve his bag and you felt so bad for the poor guy. Punching your brother in the arm, you frowned. “Why do you have to be such an asshole?” You huffed and bent to pick up what looked like a magic wand, only for the stick to droop in your hand. 

Carefully approaching the clown, you held out the wand and gave him a soft smile. “Don’t worry about him, you’re getting paid. I’ll make sure you’re paid for your time.” You truly meant that, even if you had to pay him out of your own pocket. 

“Thank you.” His voice was so soft, it surprised you a little. Your eyes met for a fraction of a second before he clutched his bag to his chest with one hand and placed his other at his throat, quickly making to leave. 

“Fucking clowns.” Your brother snarled and you just couldn’t help the anger burning in your chest. 

“Hey, clown guy, you got a name? A card or something?” You asked loudly, ignoring the look your sister-in-law was giving you. 

“Carnival. I, erm, I work for Ha Ha’s.” He said in that gentle lilt that seemed so perfectly him. 

“I can ask for you personally though, right? They won’t send some other clown if I request you?” A plan was forming in your mind and you just wanted to make certain you could pull it off. Carnival gave a small nod, a look of confusion in his eyes. “Good. I have a couple of things coming up and I wanna hire you.”

“Made of money now are ya?” Your brother chipped in and you shrugged with a lopsided smile.

“It’s my money, brother dearest. If I wanna hire a clown to, oh I don’t know, accompany me to Moms birthday meal next week then that’s my business.” You smiled, oh so sweetly, knowing how infuriated your brother was with you right now but before he could launch into a rant about how it was a waste of money or how he would put a stop to it, you turned your attention back to the stunned clown. “I’ll give your office a call. It’s next Saturday, so I hope you’re not already booked.”

The clown shook his head and practically raced out of the house. He had seemed so carefree when he was dancing and entertaining and then to see the panic and fear in his eyes when your idiot brother caused a scene damn near broke your heart. You wanted to make it better for him somehow, you just hoped he would take the gig. 

Part of you felt guilty. You had got the feeling the poor guy couldn’t very well refuse the money, but this wasn’t exactly the type of gig he wanted to be at. Your mother had insisted that her birthday meal be at the comedy club Pogo’s. She’d heard good things about the entertainment and all her friends had been, she didn’t want to be the only one who hadn’t tried it. That’s how you found yourself sat between your brother, who was far from amused at your stunt, and your clown friend, listening to some guy on stage waxing lyrical about how men are better at pretty much everything than any woman, the crowd seemingly lapping it up. 

“Seriously, is this what people find funny?” You leaned across and murmured to Carnival, who seemed to be concentrating hard on something, his leg bouncing lightly. 

“Everyone seems to be laughing.” He replied uncertainly as he glanced around at the grinning crowd. 

“Yeah, well, humor is subjective. I don’t think trashing other people is funny and this guy, fuck, he talks about sex so much I’m fairly certain he ain’t getting any.” Your comment earned a bark of laughter from your companion and your own face lit up with a bright smile as pride flushed through you at being able to elicit such a reaction. 

“I do stand up.” He murmured, not quite looking at you.

“I bet you’re a million times funnier than this guy. You do observations or you got jokes?” Your attention was now firmly on your clown, the comedian on stage just background noise. 

“Oh, erm, a bit of both. I don’t have my notebook.” He said, a hint of panic in his voice. Closing his eyes, his lips moved silently for a moment before he said “You know, even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.” A burst of laughter escaped you, completely out of time with those around you, and you looked at Carnival with admiration, a hand over your mouth to stifle your giggles. 

“That’s a little dark but definitely more amusing than this guy. I’d pay to come hear your jokes.” A comfortable silence fell between you as you forced your attention back to your family gathering. Unaware of the stolen glances being shot your way. 

Over the next six months, it became the ongoing family joke. When you were invited to any family event you were asked if your clown would be accompanying you, much to your brother’s annoyance. Christenings, barbeques, birthdays, 4th of July, you were burning through your savings fast, but the more events Carnival came to, the more you couldn’t imagine him not being part of your life. What had started out as a joke to irritate your brother had become something else, something you didn’t spend too much time thinking about for fear that you might realise it was something to do with ‘feelings’.

Sitting at the elegantly decorated table beneath one of the many banners wishing your dear Aunt Mabel Happy 70th Birthday, you looked over at the ‘kids’ table with a soft smile. Carnival was proving quite a hit with the younger members of your family and the relentless questioning from your elderly aunt was definitely worth it. No, the clown wasn’t your ‘boyfriend’. No, your guest wasn’t a ‘joke’. Yes, he was supposed to be dressed like that. Your brother was not impressed with your antics at all, which was the icing on the cake. 

You caught yourself swaying to the music and when Sinatra began to croon ‘That’s Life’, you couldn’t help but get to your feet. Usually you were alone at these family events and hitting the dance floor meant being partnered with someone under the age of ten. This time though, you might just have a more appropriate dance partner. “Carnival?” Your voice was soft, not wanting to startle him as he pulled faces for a giggling six-year-old girl who was related to you, even if you weren’t entirely sure how.

“Oh, hi.” He got to his feet and looked at you with that now familiar expression of innocent surprise that you were actually talking to him. Shuffling his feet a little, he looked like a kid and your smile grew as you extended your hand. 

“Can I please have this dance?” Your heart fluttered as his eyes met yours, as if he were searching for the punchline, expecting there to be some cruel joke here. “I promise to try not to step on your toes.”

“These shoes are quite big, so I think you’ll be fine.” The shy smile he gave you as he took your hand had you feeling things you hadn’t expected. 

You didn’t even know what he looked like beneath that make up and yet, as he span you around the floor, you found yourself lost in him and the music. It was strange, you hadn’t even realised, but these rendezvous had you looking forward to family events which you had previously been dreading. The opportunity to spend time with this guy was the reason you caught yourself smiling more and you still didn’t know his real name. Leaning your head against his shoulder, you closed your eyes, listening to him hum softly along with the song and letting him lead you in the dance, the rest of the world fading away, leaving just the two of you in this moment.

All too soon, the song ended, and you felt him pull away as if he had suddenly realised he was holding you. “I- I’ve gotta go. I’ve got another gig across town.” He said hurriedly, his head down as he backed away and before you could say anything, he was gone, leaving you standing on the dancefloor wondering what had just happened.

You’d been calling Ha Ha’s almost every day for weeks trying to book Carnival, each time being told he was unavailable and being offered some other clown. Did this idiot not realise you didn’t want ‘some other clown’, you wanted your clown! That irrational anger had you travelling all the way down to the Ha Ha’s office, determined to at least make sure Carnival was okay, even if he didn’t want to see you again. 

Climbing the stairs, you looked around to find the managers office, but a familiar voice hit your ears and you followed the sound, coming to stop in a doorway of a room of guys in various stages of ‘de-clowning’.

“Randal, I’m not sure that…” his eyes met yours, widening with panic as he stood there in a tatty yellow hoodie over a shirt tucked into his oversized slacks. “…Emma?” The way he said your name sent the butterflies that seemed to be housed in your stomach into hyperdrive. 

“Who is this, Arthur?” A tall, stocky gentleman asked, his eyes roaming over you in a way that you certainly weren’t comfortable with. “Is this the girl who’s been hiring you? Well, if you’re not taking her bookings I certainly will.”

“I- she-“Arthur stuttered out before a cackle escaped his lips. Quickly wrapping his arm over his face, his body convulsed, and you couldn’t help but rush over to him. 

“Oh, Arthur has a condition.” Randal smirked, the word ‘condition’ seeming to be in inverted commas. 

“Okay, so Arthur, how can I help here?” Your voice was soft and calm as you ignored the oaf and focused on the kind, sweet, funny guy in front of you. “I can try to make you smile, though I’m not gonna be as good at that as you are. We could dance. I could punch your buddy over here if that would help.” You gave Arthur a look of almost pure innocence, a hint of amusement dancing in your eyes that somehow helped soothe the clawing in his throat a little. Seeing that offer get a reaction, you decided to run with it. “Seriously, I can punch him. You want me to punch him in the face? Or I could just stomp on his foot if that will help you out any.”

“Hey!” Randal said indignantly and you waved him away.

“There’s always the classic kick in the balls.” You smiled as you saw your sweet clown give a genuine chuckle. 

“I don’t think that’s necessary.” That soft lilting tone made your heart soar, even if it was a little rougher than usual after the laughing outburst. 

“I’ve missed you.” The words escaped you before you realised and the look of pure surprise he gave you damn near broke your heart. “Turns out, I can’t possibly attend any event without my emotional support clown. He is a very important person to me. He is funny and talented, sweet and beautiful. Did I mention his dancing? Oh man, the way he moves is just…” you let out a dreamy sigh, tilting your head a little and figuring you were already in this far so you might as well just lay it all out there. “The thing is, I really like you and that doesn’t happen to me, like, ever. I understand if you don’t want me to hire you again, if you don’t ever want to see me again, but, well, it’s my cousins wedding next Friday. I would really love for you to be my plus one. Not as Carnival, as Arthur.” You handed him the invite with all the details on then turned and left, not sure if you would ever see him again. 

“Wow.” A small voice broke the silence of the room and Gary shuffled over to take the invitation from a stunned Arthurs hand. “You’re gonna go, right Arthur?”

“Yeah.” He nodded to himself, taking the invite back and holding it to his chest as he stared at the doorway, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. “Yeah, I’m gonna go.”


End file.
